Last night all of our friends got together to celebrate my ex wife’s 40th birthday.  It is funny to think that I was actually planning her 40th for years and wanted to be extra special, but that was when she was my wife.  I am sure she had just as much fun if not more last night than with me and the kids, but maybe that is the problem.

I am sure there were over 50-75 people there to wish her well.  I am sure she picked out a new outfit, had her hair done and maybe even her make up.  I mean, this day was all about her.

My question is, what is really important, drinking with friends on a friday night, or celebrating with your children?  Maybe it is just me.  When my daughter called her mother last night, she asked “how is the party”.  The first thing my ex replied was “how do you know about the party”?  Like it is a secret or there is something to hide?  Is there a reason she wanted to hide the event?  I mean from that comment that didn’t need to be made it doesn’t seem that she cared to be with her kids and that she is the most important person in the world.

My question is; if people knew the truth about the things she says to me, the things she sends me and how she treats her children who would really be there.  Do her friends support her sleeping with married men (allegedly)?  What if they knew that their friend doesn’t call her own kids for days and has no problem going 3-4-5 days without knowing how her children are doing.  How about that she never even called her kids on Christmas.  What mother or person does that unless they are more important that their own children.  Even if she was so sad and missed the kids on Christmas she still should have called.  My daughter said to me that night “mom didn’t even call me on Christmas” and she was sad.  As a parent you need to put the kids first and my ex does not.  What if her friends knew the real person and not the Facebook person whose life if perfect full of things she does for her kids, work outs and inspiration.  The real woman is turned 40 is divorced with two kids and doesn’t do a damn thing for her kids or to make their lives better,  The real woman is the one who tells her children she has no money to support their school fundraiser, but has money to go out to the bar with her friends on Friday night.  The real woman is the one who tells me that she has no money to pay for the kids summer camps, extra curricular activities or even extra money for school lunches, but has money to go up north on vacation to Miami for a girls weekend or out on the days and weekends that she doesn’t actually have to be a mom.

Sad part is the kids are starting to see the real person.  Yes, they love her because she is their mom, but they are not liking her as a person and are starting to feel left out and put on the side because of her actions.  Her party was no exception, she would rather spend the night out with her friends than with her own children.  If I would have thrown the party, the kids would have been there.  They should have been there either way no matter if it was my weekend or not.  All she had to do was ask because the kids always come first. Just like every other 40th party I have ever been too.  The kids are there to blow out the candles and then they leave for the evening so that the real party can begin. Real mothers want their kids to be a part of their special days, but more importantly the kids want to be a part of their mother’s special day and that is what matters most.  Last night my daughter was sad because she felt left out.  My son was upset because he wanted to see his mom happy, excited and all dressed up.

Sure, I may sound like I am complaining or bitching, but it is the furthest thing from that.  I have never said a single bad thing about my ex and never will as she is the mother of my children, but can she say the same.  I have lost countless friends because of my ex, her family and her mouth.  Single sided stories are always better than the truth.  Do I care about those friends, no I don’t a they were not real friends in the end anyways.  In the end what matters the most are the kids, and if her friends knew the kind of mother that she is, who would really show up for her party?